How to Deal with the Stress of Moving
Moving can be quite stressful. In fact, it may be surprisingly so to some. You’ve prepared as much as possible, have everything ready, and still find yourself stressed. You’re not alone. According to University Hospitals, moving is actually one of the most stressful life events we can go through. And as I cover in my post 8 Reasons You Might be So Emotional Recently, stress can cause a flux of emotions and moods.
Why is Moving So Stressful?
There are many factors that go into the stress of moving. You may experience some of these, or all of them. As they compound, the stress or anxiety can feel overwhelming. There are a few common stressors that you might watch for. By recognizing these experiences, you can begin to understand more deeply what is causing the stress of moving.
Psychological Stress
Disrupted Routines
We’ve known for a while that routines can improve health in many ways. This includes mental health. Established routines help us manage stress more effectively, sleep better, and even help people eat healthier.
When we’re going through a move, this routine often becomes impossible to follow. You might not have your normal spot to eat breakfast with the family or you don’t have time to sit and listen to the new episode of a podcast on the sofa at night. This disruption of routine can lead to a sense of disorientation or lack of stability/grounding.
Sentimental Attachment
When my partner and I moved out of the first apartment we shared together, I felt quite a bit of sadness. There was some sort of understanding that this stage of our lives was over. Although I feel we moved on to an even more wonderful life together, there was a sense of grieving. Whether we’ve lived somewhere for six months or six years, leaving our home means leaving some memories, routines we had there, and perhaps social connections we made.
Dealing with the Unknown
Even if you are moving to somewhere you already know, there’s the factor of facing the unknown. Your old home is known, while the new place will be something unfamiliar. You may have anxieties or stress about adapting to a new living space, a new budget, a new social circle, etc. The little places you get your morning coffee or fill up with gas may change, and all of this unknown can weigh on us.
Logistical and Physical Stress
Exhaustion
The simple factor of exhaustion can lead to stress. When we are in the moving process, we are likely a bit more active than normal. We are packing up, lifting boxes, and perhaps cutting into our relaxation time. This can be a downward spiral as stress can cause fatigue. As we become more tired, we grow more stressed, and the cycle continues.
Costs and Budgeting
Often, moving throws our finances into a bit of chaos. Renters may need to pay a deposit or first and last month’s rent, while buyers have the costs of closing. Research shows repeatedly that financial changes cause stress. This is especially true when money is tight, or we are spending more than usual. In addition, figuring out the budget and planning for costs often causes stress for many people.
Working on a Schedule
Moving is generally done on a schedule. We have a move-out date and a move-in date, and have to make things happen on a timeline. Because of this, we are in a bit of a time crunch. We have to balance the tasks of moving with personal life, family, work, and other responsibilities. This can feel like pressure and lead to stress.
Logistical Complexity
Finally, there are a ton of logistics to consider when moving. We have to organize the tasks we need to do (and in what order), organize with the movers, deal with utility companies, and of course all of our regular responsibilities. This mental strain can cause stress or anxiety simply due to the planning.
Tips for a Less Stressful Move
Understanding all of the potential causes for stress during your move, there are some things you can do. Remember if you feel that the stress or anxiety is getting in the way of your day-to-day functioning, it may be time to reach out for professional help.
Prioritize Yourself
First, make sure you are taking care of yourself and keeping your wellbeing in mind. It’s important to validate yourself and give your experience the time and energy it needs. This doesn’t mean you should sit around while everyone else does all of the work necessarily; find a happy medium.
My recommendation is to schedule some time for yourself during the moving process. This might be time to go out with friends, to take a bath and read a book, or to go to the gym. Sometimes, if we don’t specifically schedule these activities, we forget to prioritize ourselves during stressful times.
Plan What You Can
With moving, there is quite a bit you can plan for and organize. When you make your schedule or plan, don’t overdo it. It often is more useful to spread things out to leave space for yourself than to overdo it. If you schedule too much each day, you will stress yourself out more. Make your schedule with self-care in mind.
Create a Home Space
This is one of my favorite tips that I first heard over ten years ago in a meditation group. Make yourself a “sanctuary” or happy space during the moving process. Before the move, this may mean leaving a little nook as normal as possible. Leave yourself a familiar and comfortable place, so when everything is all boxed up you don’t feel quite as destabilized. When you arrive at the new place, do the same. Set up a little nook how you want it for whatever you want. It may be a chair to read a book in, your sofa and a television, or the bathroom.
Have a Backup Plan
With all of the moving parts, sometimes things veer from the plan. This might be during moving day or before/after. You can help meet this type of stress by preparing alternative routes, taking important boxes with you instead of sending with the movers, and having people to support you on both ends of the move. Remember to ask for help!
Set Realistic Expectations
This is true for so many life experiences, but especially with moving. Whether you’re organizing your schedule or timing your actual moving day, set goals and expectations that are realistic. For example, if the drive from your old home to the new home is generally six hours, plan for eight hours. Driving with a moving van often takes more time, and there are perhaps stops to be made.
Go Slow Where You Can
Most of us begin to speed up when we get anxious or stressed. Instead, try intentionally slowing down. The American Institute of Stress points out that slowing down can have powerful effects in stress reduction. Pause and move a bit more slowly. When you fall into rushing or autopilot, take a few breaths and slow down. Even though it may feel less productive, it’s a great way to manage stress.
Check In With Yourself
Pause during the entire process and check in with yourself. During or after the actual move, this might mean writing a bit in a journal or talking with a friend. While actually moving, you might just ask yourself how you are doing stress-wise. Is something particular causing you stress? Maybe you’re having a lack of patience, you’re worried about the unknown, or you are uncomfortable that you don’t have full control of the situation. Just by recognizing and naming what’s going on, we take some of the power from it.
Practice Self-Compassion
If you are struggling or experiencing stress, try to respond with self-compassion. When we experience unpleasant emotions, we often respond by trying to push it away. Instead, practice self-compassion. This means meeting the experience with kindness, patience, and care. You might try a self-compassion meditation like the one below!
Practice Mindfulness
Finally, practice mindfulness. One of the many benefits of meditation and mindfulness is stress-reduction. It might be a few short breaths, a period of meditation or yoga in the morning, or practicing mindfulness in everyday life. By practicing mindfulness, you’ll give yourself the opportunity to know more clearly what is going on, choose how you respond (rather than react), and work with the experience rather than shun it.
One of my favorite mindfulness practices is the awareness trigger. To do this, just pick something that happens regularly. You might choose walking through a doorway, hearing your phone ring/vibrate, or taking a sip of a drink. Any time this action or experience happens, use it as your awareness trigger. Come back to the present moment, and take a few deep breaths!
Remember above all else that moving is stressful. It’s not just you, and it doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. Respond with curiosity and compassion, and be present for yourself and the stress.