9 Common Myths About Therapy

There are so many misconceptions and myths about therapy. I hear them from clients, see them in media, and receive questions from friends. The idea many people have of psychotherapy is informed not by lived experience or reality, but entertainment, anecdotes, and fears.

I could probably make a list ten times the length of misconceptions I hear. But I’ve stuck with the nine most common myths that seem to come up in our online therapy practice.

You Must Have a Mental Illness to Go to Therapy

This is perhaps the most common misunderstanding I hear about therapy. I have literally heard people in my life say that they believe in the power of therapy, but they don’t need it because they’re not mentally ill. It’s a common myth that therapy is just for those with diagnosable mental health disorders.

Yes, many people reach out for therapy for anxiety, depression, and other common disorders. But those experiencing stress and burnout, relationship issues, life transitions, grief, and much more benefit from therapy as well. In fact, many people find success in therapy without a specific affliction! Some just want to increase self-understanding, improve communication skills, or grow in other ways.

To put it simply, you don’t need a diagnosis to benefit from therapy.

Going to Therapy Means You’re “Broken”

This is similar to the first myth, but I want to specifically challenge the still-existing stigma around therapy. Therapy does not mean you are broken or need to be fixed at all. To equate going to therapy with being broken is a complete myth and largely informed by harmful stigma.

Think about it like exercise. If you hire a personal trainer, does that mean you’re weak necessarily? No. All it means is that you want to train better or smarter. The same is true with therapy. Reaching out for support means you want to grow!

A Therapist is Just Someone You Pay to Listen

This is largely due to the portrayal of therapy in popular media. A client sits on a couch, talking about their life. The therapist sits in their chair and takes notes (often with a bit of a judgy face, but more on this later). Although some forms of therapy may have sessions like this, this is far from the truth.

Depending on the therapeutic approach, a therapist will ask questions, offer psychoeducation, give you skills and exercises, challenge you, help you set goals, and much more. Techniques like EMDR therapy offer completely different session structure as well.

Therapy is Talking About Your Childhood

Yes, childhood experiences can be relevant in therapy. Some types of therapists may focus heavily on history. But many types of therapy focus on the present moment and moving forward. Although understanding childhood experiences and relationships can help inform the work, therapy is not just discussing your relationship with your parents.

Again, therapists will work with current thoughts, behaviors, emotions, habits, and patterns with you. If you want to talk about your childhood, you can absolutely find a therapist that works in that manner. If you want to focus on the here and now, most therapists will be more than happy to do so.

Your Therapist Will Have the Solution

Over my years as a therapist, I have been asked casually at gatherings for solutions to complex problems. Maybe someone wants to stop being avoidant, figure out what to do with an emotional affair, or learn to deal with anxiety at night. If a therapist had the answer that clearly and simply, all it would take would be a short fifteen minute session!

A therapist doesn’t have the solutionand won’t tell you exactly what to do. Instead, a therapist will generally ask questions and direct conversation to help you understand yourself, identify thought patterns, and make more skillful decisions. A therapist doesn’t offer advice; they offer therapy.

Therapists Prescribe Medication

Again, this is a common misconception from popular media. Also, there are so many different types of individual therapy and mental health professionals. It can be confusing. The short answer is that psychotherapists are generally not medical doctors. Psychiatrists are usually the ones who prescribe psychiatric medication.

Therapists may work hand-in-hand with a psychiatrist in the case of one who is prescribed medication. But they themselves do not prescribe medications. Additionally many types of therapist may provide a diagnosis.

You Will Feel Better After Therapy

One of the things I am often asked in the first therapy session is when the person will start feeling better. I cannot provide an answer to this. Every individual is different. Yes, the goal of therapy is to improve overall wellbeing, but it takes time. Every session won’t leave you with ease and clarity.

Many people leave some sessions more reflective or pensive than light and happy. Additionally, therapy isn’t about only creating positive emotions. You will learn to deal with and change your relationship to the difficult experience, unpleasant emotions, and challenges you face.

Once You Start, You Won’t Stop Therapy

There have been multiple times that people have told me they feared starting therapy because they thought they would never be able to stop. As I discuss in my post How Often Should You Go to Therapy?, many people transition down to less frequent sessions before eventually phasing out.

Together with your therapist, you will investigate the right schedule. For many, therapy is beneficial with acute symptoms and situations. Once you have learned the skills needed, therapy may not be necessary consistently.

Therapists Judge You

There’s a popular portrayal (and fear) of therapists judging their clients. This is simply not the case. Most therapists have seen quite a bit in their time. And they are specially trained in meeting clients with compassion, understanding, and nonjudgement.

A good example comes to mind with people struggling with substance use but not wanting to quit completely. Instead of judging and demanding abstinence, a therapist might offer harm reduction therapy, a nonjudgemental form of substance use treatment. Therapy is about you, and your therapist will find ways to work together that are rooted in nonjudgement.

Online Therapy Isn’t Effective

Finally, a lot of people believe that online therapy just simply is not effective. I understand this completely. For many, there’s something different about sitting face-to-face with a therapist. But there are also many benefits of online therapy.

As I cover in this post, online therapy can be just as effective as in-person therapy. The exceptions are more severe cases involving psychosis, severe substance abuse, severe eating disorders, and crisis management. Otherwise, research suggests online therapy is quite effective.